My Road To A Harmonized Life.
So let’s talk about balance.
Balance is described in many ways. It is the equal distribution of weight, something used to produce equilibrium, mental steadiness, emotional stability, the habit of calm behaviour, judgment etc. In life, many of us would like to believe that balance is achieved by finding a harmonious equilibrium between work and private/personal life. I’ve been on that journey and eventually realized that way of thinking wasn’t going to work for me. So, here’s my 5 cents. It’s my way of looking at the world, and if it resonates with you, great. If it doesn’t, that’s great too. It’s your 5 cents now, so do with it what you may. My goal is simply to give you a different perspective, my perspective, on finding balance.
The challenge I faced looking at balance in terms of work and life was that there was still plenty of work to do in life. I had responsibilities outside of work. Things I wasn’t always particularly fond of doing or necessarily wanted to do. Could you imagine that?! I focused on work and left my place of employment only to “enjoy” the rest of the day, focusing on other responsibilities requiring my attention. These responsibilities involved getting home to cook, train, teach, work on finances, and hopefully squeeze in some relaxation. Every day I continued working towards what I thought I needed to do, hoping that achieving results in those areas would bring me balance and fulfillment. And to be honest, it wasn’t working for me. I felt stuck. And the additional pressure I put on myself to achieve results only caused more stress than anything else. Understanding and separating what I thought I needed vs what I felt I wanted was particularly challenging for me. I confused my wants with accomplishing my needs, and always felt that if I met my needs more, I’d eventually create time for the things I wanted. Somehow, focusing on my wants always felt irresponsible. I thought I had to sacrifice time and resources that could be better spent on meeting my needs.
So, what did I do?! I challenged everything I felt and thought. I took an in-depth, introspective look at my life. I listed all the desires and experiences I sacrificed to do what I thought I needed to do. After marinating in those thoughts for a few months, I said, “Fuck this! There’s always something I’ll need to do!”. I accepted that I was already programmed to meet my needs and decided it was now time to focus on my wants. Now, when I say wants, these are wants within my means—the things I can accomplish with the resources I currently have at my disposal. The wants I’m talking about are the simple things in life that I’ve always talked about wanting to do but would never make the time for. For example, I’ve ridden my bike across the lakeshore path countless times over the last six years, and each time I ride past, I say to myself, “One day I just want to stop and enjoy the view.”. I finally did that a few months ago, and it was the most freeing experience. These wants are the small or big things within your means that bring you joy and fulfillment. These are the kinds of desires that have become the driving factor for me achieving balance.
Okay! If you’ve gotten this far! Then either you know me and are reading in support of my venture, or are intrigued enough to see where this goes. Either which way, you are still reading. So, let me tell you how this mindset has changed my life. Now that I intentionally schedule and take the time out of my day to do the things I want to do more often, I feel more fulfilled and lighter. I’ve realized that balance doesn’t have to be 50/50. I simply need the net result to be a feeling fulfillment and joy at the end of my day. That may mean doing 3 things I want to do for every 1 thing I need to do or perhaps 1 thing I want to do for every 3 things I need to do.
I talked about learning the piano for years and kept putting it off until last year when I decided to start lessons. I wanted more loving relationships in my life. So, I decided to understand and explore my current relationships and cultivate them to be better. For the longest time I wanted to experiment with baking, I bought a kitchen aid and committed to baking something new weekly. I wanted a deeper dive into my health and nutrition, I became a holistic nutritionist. The time was always there, but my focus and the factors in my decision-making process were not aligned. Doing what I want is just as important, if not more important, than doing what I need to do. I make decisions and find the time to make sure I’m feeling fulfilled daily.
No matter how simple, I do something I want to do daily. I’ve stopped putting the things I want on the back burner, and I make doing them a priority. No excuses. I choose to focus on doing the things that fulfill me. It is now a part of my life and decision-making process, and I couldn’t think of doing it any other way.
Fitness and nutrition are lifestyle changes. There is no quick fix, and finding the right balance can be tricky. I assure you, finding a happy medium between what you need to do and eat to stay healthy, and what you want to do and eat for enjoyment is freeing and enriching. I wish you good health, happiness, and fulfillment. From your mindset to your lifestyle to your nutrition, it’s all about balance.
And remember, to live your best life, health and fitness is never one size fits all. You must find what works for you, and I’m here to help if you want it.